Catch A Glimpse
by Tess 4 5
Summary: As chance will have it Barbara is not alone in her flat for two nights. The weather is brilliant so a nice day out with her guests was planned and her boss had agreed on joining them. Let's see where this is heading.
1. Catch A Glimpse (ch 1)

**Author's usual notes and disclaimer:** I don't own any of the original characters nor the original Inspector Lynley Mysteries – they belong to Elizabeth George and the BBC. I have borrowed the characters from the TV-Show and solely own the ideas of _my_ stories and the developments _I've_ let them go through.

Please write a PM if I did something terribly wrong. Thanks!

Please read and review! More thanks!

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 **Author's note and summary:** You never know where the inspiration comes from and sometimes even some plot chippies hop by so I dedicate this first chapter to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

As chance will have it Barbara is not alone in her flat for two nights. The weather is brilliant so a nice day out with her guests was planned and her boss had agreed on joining them. Let's see where this is heading. Let's...

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 **Catch a Glimpse (ch.1)  
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The morning was bright and sunny but still quite cool for a day in early May. DI Lynley stood at the door and hesitated after a first knock. From the inside came the sounds of a loud riot - a dog barked, a baby cried and it sounded as if a dozen children ran about and shouted, only drowned out by a woman's voice yelling at them to finally shut up or they would stay at home for the rest of the week. Then suddenly it went quiet and he jumped at the chance to knock a second time.

The door jerked open.

"What?!" the woman snarled. She had appeared in the doorway with a now only sobbing toddler on her arms. A young dog, some cross breed of its own kind, barked at him but kept a safe distance. "Oh, sorry, Sir. I totally missed the time. Come on in. Now will you stop, you stupid dog."

She explained that usually he was the best trained and dearest dog of the world but obviously everybody was freaking out today. With a broad grin Lynley entered DS Haver's flat. The sight of Barbara with the child in her arms had given his heart a soft sting that was soon overlaid by a warm flood of love. He had to tell her. He had to tell her about the discovery of his feelings for her that somehow had turned from deep friendship to deep love during the past year. They had spent so much time together, at the office as well as in their private time. They even had met on some sort of dates a few times.

Today they had a date in the zoo. Tommy had learned that her recently widowed friend Emily with her three children had returned from their former life abroad and she now was on the search for a job here back home in Britain. Today Emily had an unexpected job interview somewhere in northern Scotland and due to the lack of a baby sitter she had parked the kids for two nights at Barbara's flat. That's why he was here now. The six-year old twins were to be entertained today.

* * *

Fortunately London's murderers had a heart and had stopped killing people for some days so there was nothing to do for the detectives at the office and Barbara could enjoy those three days off. She was not even on call. Tommy had offered to drive them to the zoo. Of course not without Barbara rejecting any monetary interference although he had not at all offered it. Knowing his Sergeant he would not dare to and he was not the type to to parade his wealth either.

It would be just a nice day out. He looked forward to a few hours with her. In fact he even had dreamed about her tonight.

"Hello Barbara. Hello boys." Tommy smiled at the twins who sat on the sofa with the most angel-like faces in the world. They just looked at him with big shy but defiant eyes.

"You the Lord?" The left one asked and Tommy nodded.

"Yes, I am. But please call me Tommy. And who are you?"

"Babba called you Sir!" came instead of an answer.

"Yes, she does," and turning his pleading eyes to Barbara he added "and she definitely should've stopped that by now. At least for today? Please."

Barbara just rolled her eyes and gave him the baby. "Hold her for a moment please. I still have to get ready."

* * *

Only for a brief moment anxiety ran through Tommy's mind before the girl showed a two-toothed drooly smile. "And who are you, little princess?" he asked her softly rocking her in his arms.

"She's no princess." the right boy with the blond curls answered disgusted. "she's just Paula."

"She's just a baby." the left boy with slightly darker hair snidely added.

"And what are your names, little men?" Tommy was glad that they were not identical twins.

"Stan 'n' Ollie." the left one answered and immediately another argument broke out that they had agreed on being Harry and Ron and not those stupid old men and one could not change an agreement and they had wanted to be cool but only Harry really was cool and you had decided on being Harry because you are so, so selfish and one could very well change an agreement and you are so, so stupid anyway.

"Shut up now!" Barbara shouted from behind the closed bed room door. "We still could stay at home if you wish."

"You shouldn't make her more angry." Tommy conspiratorially whispered winking at the twins. "I know how mad she could become."

"We know that too." the left boy whispered.

"We're Josh 'n' Ian." the right boy whispered finally introducing them. "And that's Battenberg."

The dog at Tommy's feet, clearly with a German Shepherd in his bloodline but obviously some smaller dogs too since he just was at knee-height, now wagged his tail feeling the attention turned on him. Paula meanwhile had started to earnestly join the conversation with some cute and almost completely inarticulate baby-talk. Her little fingers were playing with the beard Tommy had grown for a while now. He was besotted from the very first moment.

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When Barbara finally got ready and returned into the living room her heart made a happy jump seeing her boss so at ease with an attentive dog at his feet and a contented baby in his arms but that feeling quickly turned into a sad certainty that she probably never will have children of her own, least of all with him as their father. All those dinners or pints they recently had shared and she secretly had called dates only had added to her feelings for Tommy until she finally had realised that the crush and admiration she once had felt for him apparently had turned into an unrequited love for the 8th Earl of Asherton. This had to end, she inwardly sighed, and the forthcoming day at the zoo probably was not the best idea.

"Shall we?" the warmly smiling man now asked and immediately the twins stood at the door.

"Jackets, please!" Barbara commanded and grumbling the boys took on their anoraks. Meanwhile she had taken the baby girl back into her arms and Tommy had lifted up the car seat for Paula that had stood at the flat's door. It all had happened without any words and for Barbara it felt in a strange way painfully normal.

* * *

With the boys waiting at the kerb where Tommy had parked his car and listing which animals they would want to see today Tommy and Barbara adjusted the seat in the middle of the backseat of his Bristol and the booster cushions for the twins on each side. Josh, Ian and Battenberg hopped through some puddles and almost had started to argue again but eventually Paula was seated so they also jumped into the car. The dog would sit at Barbara's feet.

Knowing them to be wet and muddy his Lordship felt two small feet kicking into the back of his seat but before he could say anything he felt a soothing hand squeezing his arm. He saw a soft shake of her head.

"You've got leather seats in here. Just let them." Barbara muttered. "I'll wipe them later." Then she raised her voice. "Please put the seatbelts on. Josh, you too."

* * *

"Will this rust bucket even start?" Josh asked.

"Aren't you rich?" the other one giggled.

"It's like from Stan 'n' Ollie." Josh joined the giggling.

"We'll need half a day to get to the zoo." Ian laughed.

"Woof!" Battenberg said and tried to climb over Barbara to get in the backseat to the twins but she gently nudged him back down.

"Or should we ask Babba to push this old car?" Seeing her boss' eyes watching the kids through the rear mirror Barbara knew what inevitably would follow now. She chewed on her cheeks so she would not laugh.

"It's not an old car." There it was. She grinned. "It's a classic-"

Barbara's soft voice made him stop.

"Tommy!" she said and did not even recognise she had called him by his given name. Tommy instead barely recognised anything else she told him further on. And her soothing hand was on his arm again. For a moment he held his breath. "They're six. They don't understand how precious your car is. They love roaring speedsters, modern rockets, fancy race cars. Oh my!"

Meanwhile Tommy had turned on the engine and now let it roar once. Broadly grinning he told the two little ignorants that they'd be in the zoo in twenty minutes. They were. Even without ignoring the speed limits.

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	2. Fish and chips but no elephants

**Author's spoiler:** It's going to be a very nice day at the zoo ;-) **  
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 **Fish and chips but no elephants  
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At the entrance of the zoo the adults agreed on him paying for the tickets and parking and her paying for everything inside.

"I've come off well." he grinned and ordered a family ticket but his eyes never left Barbara's face. The smile he gave her while he bought it, in fact in the exact moment when he emphasised the word 'family', made her blush because she could not describe it anything other than loving but quickly she dismissed that thought as pure hormone guided fantasy.

The boys impatiently jumped from one foot onto the other while Paula was seated in the borrowed pram together with the bag with all those things you need when you were out on a family day.

* * *

Battenberg turned out to be a really good dog. Although he was on alert at every cage he almost always kept still and sat when told most of the time.

"I think he waits for the order to herd them." Barbara explained at the first coral with reindeer. "Let's see what he'll do at the lion's cage. He'll probably try to defend us. His flock so to say." She gave a laugh. "He initially was trained on a sheep farm."

"He's a nice puppy." Tommy knelt down and ruffled the dog's head. "Hm, Battenberg...? You're a good boy, aren't you? Yeees... Sweet little hairy monster, you..."

 _It's always the same_ , Barbara thought watching him with a smile. _Always fastidious but when it comes to dogs he couldn't care less about his trousers getting dirty with their paws patting him in return to his hugs._ "He's yours for the day." With that she gave him the leash.

Their fingers brushed and her heart skipped a beat. Automatically his hand tried to grab hers together with the dog's leash but unfortunately he missed it. Tommy watched her. He believed that Barbara must have felt him reaching for her fingers and if she mirrored his wish to walk hand in hand she would have let him grab it but she only blushed and looked down to her shoes. Inwardly she cursed herself for being such a coward. For this single day she just could pretend being with him. She should have let him take her hand. It would have been nice. But no... _Stupid girl!_

Making a slightly disappointed sound she turned and pushed Paula's pram towards the next corral.

 _She looks anxious_ , Tommy thought. The hope he had for today was not yet fading.

* * *

They walked through the zoo with the twins almost every time running ahead to the corrals and then staying longer than the adults wanted. They saw tigers and gorillas, lamas and vultures, got scared while walking through the creepy spiders' world, sighed at those cute penguins and playful seals, fed giraffes and tickled pigs, laughed about the lemurs and Tommy's imitation of King Julien from the film Madagascar.

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Tommy and Barbara alternated with pushing Paula's pram and holding the dog's leash until they eventually had the chance to catch a breath with Josh and Ian climbing about on some playground and Battenberg dozing off on the sun flooded gravel. Barbara was bottle-feeding Paula and both adults had their eyes on the twins although Tommy, leaned back against a table and also observing _her_ a bit, was wondering if he was right thinking that she felt the same he felt.

Following a sudden bold impulse he softly massaged her back with one hand. Barbara cringed a bit and briefly turned her head into his direction but realising that he was not freaking her out again like he had done in the spider's world but was gently caressing her she stopped halfway and returned her eyes to the playground, keeping them fixed on a spot she did not really see. Although she felt the blush creeping across her neck again she would not want to break the spell of the moment and he probably was doing it deep in thoughts and without any meaning at all. Since it was entirely relaxing she only leaned back a bit so Tommy also could reach her neck. There was a slightly sizzling but still companionable silence until Barbara had to go to the toilet.

"Would you please hold her for a while, Tommy? She's still not finished with her milk and it looks as if she's taking her time. But I have to... umm... well..."

"Of course." Tommy beamed at Barbara and took the little package. "Here we are, little princess, now who's not hungry?"

Before she left them Barbara saw how gentle Tommy treated Paula who seemed more interested in his beard than in her bottle and was contentedly talking with her boss in her sweet baby chatter. He even answered. Barbara almost fled the scene when tears started filling her eyes. Behind the locked toilet door she waited until the tears subsided and since she then had to compose herself it took a little longer there than usual but Paula still was drinking in Tommy's arms. Barbara took a final deep breath before she approached them again.

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Fortunately the twins returned from their adventure and loudly demanded some chips so Barbara was distracted and busy with waiting in the row with the boys minutely wanting something different to eat. Each carrying two huge cups of lemonade, one for each except Paula, Josh and Ian returned to Tommy who had just finished feeding the girl and was putting her back into the pram. Barbara followed with a tray full of fish and chips. Battenberg of course got fed with some proper dog treats they had brought with them.

Afterwards Josh and Ian quietly tried to solve the riddles on the empty styro-cups so Tommy and Barbara had a few more moments of peace before they would go on walking the zoo. That is if Paula would not have started to nag because her nappies had to be changed. Barbara groaned and left the men alone.

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Eventually Ian tried to look at his brother's riddle and so he climbed over Tommy's lap without a warning.

"Ho, little man. Your feet aren't supposed to be wiped at my trousers. Keep them down, please!"

"Sorry, Sir!" he plonked into Tommy's lap and exchanged theories on the riddle with his brother.

"Tommy?" Josh asked after a while.

"Yes?"

"Is Babba your girlfriend?" This question came a bit out of the blue but Josh's eyes were only curious and innocent.

"No, she isn't. Why do you ask?"

"Because you look at each other like Mommy 'n' Dad on the picture on Mommy's night stand."

"Do we?" Tommy had a lump in his throat. The boy nodded. He could not know how close he was to the truth. Tommy only thought about trying to catch Barbara's loving look to have proof. He would not miss it if he would get some chance today. Until now for him the day almost had been perfect and he was determined to make it unforgettable for them both.

"I miss him."

"Your dad?"

"M-hm. He's dead, you know. That means he is gone and won't come back." Ian earnestly explained. "Not to us and not to anyone else. And he is not just on a desert island or havin' a long nap. Mommy said it's more like sleepin' forever." A curly head leaned against the man's shoulder from the other side. Tommy deeply felt for them.

"I miss him too. Do _you_ know how long forever is?" Josh asked.

"No. All I know is that it's intangibly long."

"Do you have a dad?"

"I _had_. And like yours mine too is gone forever."

"Do you miss him?"

"Sometimes. Yes. It's been some years ago when he died."

"Are you sad too?"

"Of course I _was_." Tommy did not have to tell the entire tragedy. The Asherton family drama surrounding his father's death was a story itself and definitely nothing for the ears of six year old boys. "But the sadness had faded over the years. It will happen to your sadness too. And one day you will think of him and probably only remember the happy times you've had. The void he has left will shrink but he will always be there with you both and Paula and your Mum as long as you will remember him."

"I'll never forget him." Josh firmly said. "We've been to Taronga Zoo once."

"We were in the furni... foonic... funnycollar Safari. That was gorgeous!"

"Like a railway train on a rope." Suddenly the sadness was gone and Josh and Ian were sitting straightened up with beaming eyes.

"And we've seen the elephants from above."

Tommy praised the easily distractible mind of little kids when they almost simultaneously jumped and pulled at both of his hands begging him to _pleeeeease_ go to the elephants right now.

"They don't have elephants, I fear." Before the boys' disappointment would become too great Tommy enfolded the map and pointed at a black and yellow striped cat. "Look! We could go to the tigers."

"Roarrr!" Ian made.

"Yay! Let's go! He's gonna eat ya, Ian!" Josh jumped out of the way of his brother's paw leashing out at him. "C'mon, Tommy, don't be slow!"

"Don't you think we should wait for our ladies?"

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When Barbara came out of the baby-care room with a happily chatting little Paula she was welcomed by Tommy with two boys at his hands informing her that the Tiger Territory was next on the list. Battenberg emphasised their begging to hurry up with impatiently yelping happy barks.

On the way there they came across the kangaroos and some emus and Josh and Ian lectured Tommy about the wildlife of Australia but since they knew those animals very well there was not much interest in staying too long at the fences there. Except for the temporary guest display corral of the wombats of course where by chance it was feeding time and Barbara had to stay a bit and watch those cuties. She even lifted Paula who was raising her little arms towards those furry tubbies and loudly demanding to be brought closer to the, like she called it, bambad.

While Barbara talked to the girl and the boys impatiently waited Tommy was flooded with affection. He stood right behind her and would have loved to make that next step and encircle the two from behind. He could nuzzle into her neck and kiss her ear. It was not the sun that made his own ears suddenly glow red. It was his naughty imagination, so he shook his head and made a step to the side in the very moment Barbara made a step backwards.

She had felt him standing close and had debated with herself if she really should lean back into his chest. She could make a simple step and make it look as if it was not on purpose. She was sure that Tommy would at least put his hands on her upper arms. Unfortunately he had been gone when she finally dared to step back.

Only their shoulders bumped.

To top it all the animal attendant lifted the biggest wombat and carried it to the fence so since they were the only visitors standing there at the moment all five could caress Russell. That was the wombat's name the attendant told them and Paula squealed with delight when she buried both of her little hands into the fur. Even Josh and Ian caressed it a bit.

The attendant also added a bit of knowledge into the boys' heads. Apparently listening to him too Tommy and Barbara avoided their fingers coming too close to the other although Barbara dearly wanted to 'accidentally' touch him again and Tommy longed to stroke her hand instead of the animal's back. Thus they were not paying any real attention to what the man told them but focussed on the cuddly marsupial and each other. Nervous eyes flicked to and from the other face until their hands touched anyway.

"Sorry." Barbara whispered almost inaudible and quickly held Paula with both arms again.

"No harm done." his warm voice answered. Encouraged by the shy smile she had given him Tommy put his arm around her shoulders with a firmer smile. It felt wonderful and almost natural and he kept it there until she had to put the baby back into its pram. Barbara felt a slight disappointment but the feeding show was over and Tommy's arms were occupied by the boys again.

Tiger Territory still awaited them.

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	3. Wrestling turtles and sweet ice-cream

**A/N:** The Sky Safari mentioned in the previous chapter is in Sydney. **  
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 **Wrestling turtles and very sweet ice-cream**

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After having some fun with feeding camels, marvelling at the impressive tigers and watching the old turtles copulating it was time for ice cream and coffee.

 _Wait, what?!_ Barbara almost had walked by without noticing it but the boys stopped at the glass wall of the huge loricate animals' corral and laughed. It actually sounded ridiculous and it did not look very reputable.

"What are they doin'?"

"Are they wrestlin'?"

"Sort of." Tommy grinned and watched Barbara blushing. He was curious how she will get out of this delicate situation.

"Oh, brilliant!" she hissed and glared at him. While Tommy gave her one of his naughtiest smiles, actually a smile she had never before seen on his face that made her shiver as if he had made an inappropriate but admittedly not entirely unwelcome suggestion, she searched for words to explain the scene to the boys. She did not know how far Emily already had explained the facts of life to her sons.

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"Well, I don't know what your mum's already told you but I'd say they're making love. And if it was successful there'll be a bunch of little turtles in a few months."

"Baby turtles?" Ian asked keeping his eyes fixed in the corral. "Because of _this_?!"

Barbara cleared her throat. "Yes." She felt Tommy's eyes boring into her face and strictly kept hers on the turtles' act. It was not at all distracting her thoughts onto safer territory.

" 'n' why are they makin' such awful noises?" Josh asked kneeling down to have a closer look.

Barbara blushed even deeper when suddenly an arm encircled her waist. By now she knew her voice was gone completely or at least would sound obnoxiously raucous if she would open her mouth now. As if he had felt it Tommy answered instead of her but only she could hear the small excited tremble in his voice.

"It's a noise of pleasure." He had not expected himself to be so bold but he found himself so close to Barbara that his heart suddenly had started to race. It thumped even louder against his chest and pumped happy hormones through his veins when she softly leaned into him.

"Hmmm." he hummed approvingly. Loudly Barbara exhaled. She had not been aware that she had held her breath for a while.

"It just sounds as if they're workin' hard." Ian could not believe that making baby turtles was a pleasure.

Entirely confused Barbara sucked in some air once more when Tommy's fingers gently pinched her side.

"Well, love could be hard work sometimes." he mumbled close to her ear.

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It had the desired effect that not only was she having goose-pimples but now knew for sure that he was talking about them, or rather tried to mention his attempt to make another step towards each other. Or rather signalising what sort of dirtiness was on his mind? Barbara was confused and flattered at the same time. And a bit excited too.

 _Yes_ , Tommy thought. _Love could be hard work._ He was asking himself why with her it was not as simple as all his other relationships. The decorated Detective Inspector sighed. Why had he fallen in love with probably the most complicated woman in the world? Although he believed - and thought to feel it right now - that Barbara mirrored his affection Tommy also knew he could ruin their entire friendship with one wrong word or misplaced movement. And of course he had to convince her that they were made for each other no matter where they came from, what their education was, how much money there was on the account. He had to convince her that in fact it was the difference that made it work so well, that made it even possible whatever it was that had developed between them. _And physical proximity was the latest modification_ , he thought. Totally forgetting the kids his mind already thought about a nice romantic evening tonight.

His hand slid to her hip and squeezed her without any assistance of his busy mind.

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It made funny things with her belly and she stopped breathing again. It was more than she could endure without turning towards Tommy and pulling him onto her lips so she harrumphed again and indeed very crackling Barbara asked if anybody would want some ice cream now. She earned howling approvals from the boys. _Situation solved!_

Side by side, almost perfectly moulded into each other, the adults followed them towards the kiosk. Tommy only pulled back his hand from her waist when they arrived at a seat in the picnic area.

There in the reflection of a window pane he finally saw how she looked at him without her noticing it. Her eyes were longing but her face looked slightly sad. Tommy had gone to get them some treats and seeing her now he cursed himself for not having made more of the previous situation. His usually prickly reacting sergeant really had seemed to enjoy his proximity and he had to ask himself why he had not finally given in to his desire to kiss her.

Barbara was pondering on the same question.

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A few minutes later everybody was sitting in front of an ice cream cup or cone. Paula squeaked with pleasure every time she could dive into the cold stuff with almost her entire face. The boys and Barbara had their own and sitting on the opposite side of the table Barbara watched Tommy enjoying himself with the baby girl on his knees. It was adorable.

"Oh, we're a bit smudgy, little Lady, aren't we." Tommy did not at all care about the ice cream his little Lady had spread on his sleeve but wiped Paula's face with his handkerchief making funny faces and letting the girl grab his beard with her ice-creamy little fingers again.

"She loves your beard." Barbara said. She had to say something or she would have broken out in tears of joy or cries of frustration.

"Who wouldn't?" Tommy quickly looked up with a cheeky smile catching her fond look at him. This time she did not look away. Her soft green eyes stayed on his. He rocked the baby. "Paula obviously knows how a man should have his facial fashion."

"I don't know..." Barbara openly studied him. He had changed over the years. His eyes still are those dark scintillating orbs that looked witty and somehow wise. She could drown in their warmth. Throughout the years his hair had been shorter, then longer, then extremely short and finally as nicely trimmed like now, with a neat side parting and the lovely unruly lock of hair that always and still fell into his forehead. His new beard makes him look gorgeous and she wondered how it would feel to rake her fingers throught it. She pondered on the question if it would tickle him when she stroked his tash with the tips of her fingers. Or if it would sting her skin when they kissed. There were a few grey streaks in his hair and some wrinkles in the corners of his eyes but he still looked quite handsome.

Apart from that she loved him.

Barbara's cheeks turned a bit rosy when she recognised her thought. Tommy cheekily grinned. Ignoring her lovestruck mind she answered his grin with an equally fond smile and tilted her head to one side. How long had she looked at him? She had to say something light to ease the tension of the situation. "You may be the 8th Earl of Asherton but honestly, somehow you look more like Henry the 8th."

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Tommy who had loved to be watched by Barbara because this way there was an opportunity for him to frankly stare back at her beloved face. She had become more female over the years. Was she wearing oversized mismatching blouses and slacks once, she now had a completely different wardrobe. More fitting, if not even fitting tight. Her clothes did not hide her figure anymore. Something he appreciated very much, especially with one or the other added shape. Her strawberry red hair had turned lighter, almost blonde and was cut into a nice hairdo. Only her big eyes, with a few wonderful wrinkles nowadays, still were of the same deep green that had called him since the day they first had met. What Tommy liked the most was the fact that, although still a bit coy, she had become quite cheeky lately. With the comparison with the self-indulgent monarch ringing in his ears Tommy now straightened his back and visibly sucked in his belly.

"Am I that fat?" he asked mock-indignant.

"Of course not, Sir. Quite the opposite." Tommy raised his eyebrows at her usual name for him but Barbara did not react. Instead she tried to divert the conversation to something less dangerous. With her chin she pointed to a menu board. "Piece of cake?"

"Me?"

"M-hm...?" Still expecting an answer she nodded, unaware of what play of words he obviously had in mind. When Tommy started to grin even broader than before Barbara finally realised it and blushed but laughed anyway.

"Oh, nooo! You prig!" She playfully swatted his upper arm. The winking look he gave her was more than juicy. "Don't be so cheeky, Tommy. I mean if you _want_ a piece of cake. Since you've let half of your ice cream melt away and the other half smeared into this little glutton. And your jacket, by the way."

Tommy laughed hard. "Well, no, Barbara, thank you. This cutie is sweet enough for me." Then his face turned serious and he watched Barbara swallowing down the last bits of her cornet. "In fact, today there's far too much sweetness for me than I actually could bear without any deeply harming effects."

* * *

That he still had locked his eyes with hers made Barbara even blush deeper but today she could always count on the curly headed rascals to prevent her from any more embarrassment. Out of the attention of the adults they secretly had started to try cutting their names with the plastic ice cream spoons into the edge of the bench they were sitting on. They had discovered that the wood it was made of was not in the best of shapes anymore and quite soft. Barbara had seen their misdoing in the corner of her eyes.

"Hello?! Whatever next! Will you please stop that?" she chided them with a still soft voice. The juvenile delinquents immediately stopped with guilty faces. They very well knew that they should not have done that. "You couldn't just destroy other people's things. And those benches don't belong to you, do they?"

"No, Ma'am..." Josh mumbled.

"That's why you bring back the tray to the station over there and the trash to the bin. Off you go. Vandals!" Barbara shook her head in disbelief.

"Yes, Sir..." Ian mumbled already turned away.

"I've heard that, Ian." Barbara called after him.

* * *

"I used to cut symmetrical patterns into the rim of my wooden bed at Eton." Tommy said conspirationally grinning when the boys were out of earshot. "With the Swiss Army knife my godfather had given me."

"Don't you dare telling them, Tommy." Barbara shook her head. "They might want to have a knife too." Sighing she put some order into the messy heap of coats and bags and Battenberg's feeding dish in the pram.

"I could tell them about the punishment I've recieved after the house master had found out."

"No violent tales either when I'm around!"

"Well, I've survived the additional work I had to do after lessons and at least I've learned how to build a wooden bed."

All the while Paula had been talking to the sniffing dog and patting him gently so finally Tommy let her down to the ground. Having an animated conversation with the puppy and Tommy she made a few steps with one hand in Battenberg's fur and one hand clenching Tommy's trousers. Secretly Barbara could not resist taking a picture of this sweet scene before she followed them with the pram.

They twins already were running ahead towards the Gorilla Kingdom.

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	4. Fight, blood and trophies

**A/N:** At this point I'd like to thank for all the reviews so far! :-)

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 **Fight, blood and trophies**

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In the warmth of the tropically heated Gorilla Kingdom Paula dozed off. Pushing the pram back and forth Tommy stood at an information sign with a long text about Dian Fossey and her life in Africa and the fight against poachers. Barbara stood right next to him and looked as if she was reading that information too. He could not really focus on the texts. Neither could she. When another person came to stand right next to her Barbara made a polite step away towards Tommy and found herself touching him. Before she even recognised what she did she tucked her arm into Tommy's without a thought.

Tommy quickly sucked in some air but after the first moment of positive shock he pulled Barbara even a bit more into his side, softly jamming her arm so she could not retreat too easy. While his eyes went across the letters at the wall in what seemed to be an appropriate speed for appearing to read it he only thought about the woman next to him. He could tell by the brief twitch of her head that she had linked their arms unconsciously. A cautious look sidewards offered the sight of a slightly flushed cheek. His breath stumbled over his happiness. Then he remembered to keep on rocking Paula's pram.

* * *

"What a disgusting ending!" Barbara mumbled. She just had read the words 'bludgeoned to death'. Of course she knew about the primatologist - she had seen the film about her - and did not need to read to know what had happened but it was a good excuse to crawl deeper into Tommy's side.

Although this day of glimpsing into how it could be as a family with him she knew this rosy time probably won't go on forever but she could at least enjoy it all as long as possible. It was more than she ever had hoped to get and there was nothing wrong with it. Absolutely nothing. And he obviously enjoyed it too. Fortunately there was still some more text, apparently about the national park, to go on pretending she was reading it. This way Barbara could go on snuggling into Tommy's side.

* * *

"You're a stupid chimp!" That was Josh's voice a few yards away.

"And you're a dumb gorilla!" And that was Ian, clearly on the verge of crying.

"And those are two nuisances." Barbara sighed. Her shoulders slumped.

"Take the pram, I'll go and see what our two brawlers are up to now." Softly Tommy kissed the top of Barbara's head before he turned towards the twins. He had to suppress a smug grin about his bold move because you don't end children's fights with a broad smile, no matter what the tickling butterflies do to your belly.

Barbara was positively stunned and had to compose herself a few more moments at the information board before she followed him.

A few minutes later every quarrel almost was forgotten and when the family stepped out into the cool air the boys were best friends again.

* * *

Walking along some wooden fence that held llamas Tommy had placed one arm around Barbara's shoulder. She pushed the pram and was not at all unpleased by his proximity. In fact she definitely could get used to his arm around her.

Josh and Ian were jumping around and playing some silly game only boys of that age would understand. During one of all the pushes and nudges and scrambles Josh badly scratched the back of his hand at an abrasive plank of the fence. Barbara sighed because not only had Tommy let go of her shoulders but she knew what inevitably would follow now. Immediately tears flowed and the boy sobbed. Ian only mocked him to be a wimpy girl which made it all worse but then Tommy knelt down and inspecting the scratch he earnestly talked to Ian that it was not a girlish thing to cry and if it would hurt even grown boys like them should feel free to shed tears since where there was blood it always would be hurting.

"You could scratch your hand at the fence and try it on your own, Ian." Tommy said to him while he bandaged Josh's arm with a white handkerchief.

Rueful the boy shook his head. "No. Sorry, Josh." he sheepishly said but Josh already ran to the next corral with the new shining trophy around his hand.

"From where do you always get those hankies?" Barbara was amused.

"I always have two. Bad habit." Tommy grinned and got up from his knees. "Learned it as a boy. That way I could collect things or wipe my face or fingers with one and still have the other, neatly folded, white and clean, ready to be presented to my draconic father."

* * *

In the late afternoon the sun started to go down. They had spent the entire day at the zoo with everything you wanted there. They saw all sorts of animals, they learned interesting facts, they had chips and ice cream and lemonade. One half also had enjoyed the playgrounds and the other half the peaceful moments then without those two whirlwinds. Not to mention all those wonderful sizzling moments between them when the world seemed to be a deserted place with only the two of them in it.

Exchanging a look and a nod Tommy and Barbara silently agreed that they had spent enough time there and should go home now. Paula already was taking another nap and even Battenberg only trotted slowly at their side. The twins of course still wanted to watch the tigers again or maybe just a few more seconds with the gorillas or perhaps a few more glides down the huge helter-skelter?

"Or maybe pizza at home?" Barbara asked in return and earned two cheering boys running ahead to the exit.

"You know how to handle them." Tommy smiled holding Battenberg back who had wanted to run after his young masters.

"Not at all. I only know how I could bribe them." Barbara mirrored his smile. Then she took a deep breath and tried to sound as casual as she could. This nice day with Tommy should not end so soon. "Will you stay for dinner?"

Maybe eventually there will be a chance to manoeuvre him into a situation where either he _had_ to do something or _she_ would learn that they better finally just leave it be.

* * *

With his heart jumping in joy Tommy almost had shouted that he _of course_ even would love to stay for breakfast and lunch and dinner tomorrow.

"Who could say no to such a nice invitation?" he answered equally casually and laying his arm around Barbara's shoulder again. He could get used to that and she did not seem to be hostile to it. "I mean, hey... pizza...!"

Slightly chuckling Barbara briefly nudged herself closer into his chest. "Charmer!"

* * *

Of course they could not leave the zoo without a tour through the souvenir shop where the twins were able to convince Tommy that the green plastic watch with a tiger's face on its clock-face definitely was cooler than the old boring Rolex his father once had given him. In the end everybody got a souvenir and even Battenberg went home with a new squeaky toy.

She did not look in the moment Tommy picked it from the shelf because she and the twins stood at the wall with posters which were more in the budget her wallet provided. When Tommy came back to her with the pram he also had a surprise for the boys and Paula squeezed a cute stuffed hippo. Barbara groaned and glared at Tommy who was grinning victoriously while he placed a light green scarf with dark green lizards around her neck.

"It matches your eyes." he softly said with a loving smile. "And it complements your hair."

"I told you!" she said to him ignoring the urge to pull him down into a kiss. "You shouldn't have bought-"

Still grinning her boss looped the scarf further around her neck and over her mouth. "Tommy!" Her voice sounded muffled under the cloth. Even though her hands had gone straight upwards to free her mouth she was too slow because he already had made another step forward. So when her fingers got entangled in his coat his hand was quicker and he pulled down the scarf again with one finger. Tommy smiled down to Barbara. His face slowly approached hers.

He clearly was about to kiss her. She knew it. Barbara's heart refused to beat. She heard him stop breathing.

And then they were inconveniently and awkwardly pressed together and into a shelf and not a bit in something like a romantic kiss. A fat woman was pushing her way through the narrow aisles and did not care about the fact that she was disturbing what was to become the highlight of the day. It could have become the icing of the cake he had refused to eat earlier. Although it still was nice in his arms the wonderful romantic moment suddenly was gone and could not be reproduced. And if any of them would have wanted to pick up the thread right there at the shelf the boys cut in in this very second. You always could count on them.

After congratulating each other for their new stylish woollen caps from Tommy they had dashed off to the stuffed toys because they also wanted one. They were not yet the grown ups they always claimed to be. Now with long-lashed blue puppy eyes they both held up a soft furry gorilla.

Of course they each got one. For their benefit Barbara was just in the right mood to be wrapped around their little fingers.

* * *

A bit later the boys plonked down onto their car seats, exhausted but satisfied. Exhausted the adults were too but it still felt as if something was missing.

Apart from that it had been an almost perfect day out.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	5. Pirates and the Sleeping Cutie

**A/N:** They day at the zoo is over but the evening is not. Pizza anyone?

* * *

 **.**

 **Pirates and the Sleeping Cutie**

 **.**

* * *

On the way home Paula almost fell asleep. Only the babbling of the still fully alert boys on each side kept her awake.

"Oh, bl...ooming!" Barbara hid a curse from the young ears when the car had arrived at her flat and Tommy had taken the baby out of its seat. "I still have to go to the co-op!"

"I thought we'd call the delivery service?" Tommy asked.

"No, I need a few more things."

"Should I go? You take Paula and I go shopping with the twins?"

"That would be great, thank you so much." Barbara took the baby girl from his arms.

Their hands brushed and somehow the cord of Paula's connected gloves locked around a button on the sleeve of Tommy's coat. In order to not drop the child Barbara had to stand very close to him.

"Oops! No! Oh, shit!" she cursed ignoring the gleeful laughing twins.

"Wait!" Tommy wrapped one arm around her waist because she almost fell. The baby squealed delighted and laughed into the sky letting her head drop backwards with her hands in Barbara's scarf and Tommy's beard. She definitely had fun.

Tommy's other arm also still was around the baby and Barbara and quickly she looked what it had been that brought them into this situation. He tilted his head like she did and accidentally their foreheads bumped.

"Ouch! Oh, sorry!" Trying to untangle and get them free again without letting go of the poor child they made it even worse until Barbara's scarf was jammed at that button too. Simultaneously both started to fidget with it but immediately withdraw their hands again when they only touched each other's fingers.

* * *

"Stop, I'll try it." Tommy whispered. By Paula's little fingers pulling at them both his face suddenly was too close to Barbara's to keep focussed on their separation. In fact he also did not really want to let go of her so quickly. _Perhaps_ , he thought, _she even could hear that my heart is beating faster._ But since he feared that Barbara would think he took advantage of the situation he dared not kissing her properly.

Her heart raced as fast as a shot bullet. She felt his warm breath on her cheek and if she would turn her head she easily could meet his lips with hers but she did not dare. But was this not the situation she had wanted?

Feathery mumbling lips on her skin told her that it was harder to release than it looked. "Could you please stop wriggling? You're making me nervous."

Of course Tommy had meant it as a joke but since it was the truth it sounded exactly like that.

Barbara swallowed but stood still. "Yes." she almost whimpered. "I'll try."

Finally Tommy accomplished his task and with a last gossamer-light touch of his lips across her cheek and then a soft stroke across her fingers they stood separated again.

"Thanks." Barbara only breathed. Her knees were weak. _Why didn't he act? Why didn't_ I _act?!_

* * *

"What do you need?" His voice was husky.

 _You!_ Barbara thought and blushed because she felt it written on her face. The widening eyes of the man in front of her were a distinct indicator. She cleared her throat and managed a lopsided grin. "Err... two of those huge pizzas. Simply with salami. Four pints of milk, a six pack of beer-"

"Which one?"

"Oh, I don't care. Make a choice." They grinned at each other. "And a bottle of wine for you if you want?"

"No, I'll take a can of beer. Anything else?"

"A pack of kitchen towels and-" she stopped dead in her tracks and diverted her eyes away from his. "Ah, well, no, that's all."

"Okay. If there's anything else just call me. Ian! Josh! Come on, we go shopping."

"Oh, and Tommy?"

Her boss turned back towards Barbara who was smiling fondly at him. "Don't spoil them. No more sweets, no more toys, please!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Barbara snorted and rolled her eyes at him but he just winked.

* * *

While Tommy, Josh and Ian were at the small supermarket just down the street Barbara had gone inside and started to prepare the tired baby for sleep. Standing at the small cabinet in her bathroom drying up the girl she wondered not only about all those sweet moments but also about the casual normality of this day and the fact that they had not yet put the kids' car seats from Tommy's beloved vehicle. As if they would belong there. Which they did not of course. "Oh, hell, Paula, this is going to be hard work for my head to store away all those memories into a safe place from where they couldn't do more harm."

And despite all those perfect opportunities they had not even kissed once.

Anyway it had been an exhausting but very nice day out in the zoo. A glimpse at something she believed she never would have, no matter how this evening will end, and this entirely saddened her.

Before she could let the tears start falling there was a knock at the door. The boys returned. Barbara took a deep calming breath before she opened the door.

"I've just bought four small cups of a full-value yoghurt dessert." Tommy murmured walking past Barbara. He grinned. Her own grin equalised that she rolled her eyes at him. She probably would have bought something similar. Like he never had done anything else Tommy had slipped off his shoes like the boys did and then walked straight into the kitchen and unpacked the bags he had brought while Barbara shooed Josh and Ian into the bathroom.

* * *

"I already put the pizza into the oven, right?" she heard from the kitchen and answered positive. It would be a quick bath for the boys today. Meanwhile she brought Paula into her bedroom and laid her down into the mobile baby bed. It made her smile that the girl's little fingers still clenched into the fur of the cute pygmy hippo Tommy had bought at the zoo's souvenir shop.

Where he should have kissed her. Seriously, he had had so much opportunities to kiss her and this had been the perfect one. Barbara remembered each and every single moment and especially the sizzling moment when he had given her the green scarf. She wondered if he was about to kiss her anyway or if it had been all in her imagination alone. Maybe he was just waiting for her signals? Had she not been clear enough? Was she too shy again? Too afraid?

She will probably never know it.

* * *

"I simply should have pulled him down, don't you think, Paula?" Barbara mumbled. "For once in my life I should have taken the initiative..."

Like it had worked yesterday evening it should work now so Barbara sang her a sweet lullaby. It even worked better today since Paula really was tired from the day at the zoo. She probably even would have fallen asleep without Barbara's help.

"Little sleeping cutie." Barbara sighed. For a few quiet moments she watched the sleeping cutie and turning she almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Tommy leaning against the door frame watching her with a gentle smile. He even blushed a bit when Barbara asked him how long he was standing there but either he had not heard her talking to Paula or he did not want to be pulled into a kiss.

"Just a short moment." he whispered. "I didn't want to disturb you. Pizza's almost ready. What about the boys?"

"They probably have flooded my bathroom by now." Carefully closing the bedroom door behind them she chuckled. "Like yesterday. Little big rowdies."

"You do a great job, Barbara."

"You're also performing quite good with them. I'm glad I've had some help at the zoo."

"It was a great pleasure."

* * *

At the bathroom door Tommy stroked her nape but before he could become more gentle there could be heard a loud splashing riot from inside.

Barbara groaned, half in annoyance, half because she had enjoyed the brief contact very much. Prolonging the moment she leaned back into his hand for another second. She really could do with a gentle massage tonight. _Ah, well, wishful thinking..._

Tommy held her back at her arm before she could enter the wet room. "Do you want me to handle it? You could tend to the pizza."

"Thank you, Tommy." They were so close she easily could have kissed him if she would stand on tip toes. She almost did. But then, after a brief moment of hesitation, her courage vaporised and she did not but instead let go of the breath she had not even recognised she was holding again and finally she turned away.

 _I should have kissed her. This was the perfect moment._ Tommy scolded himself. _I'm so, so stupid._ Shaking his head he entered the bathroom. "Alright boys, skipper's on bridge. Time to surface! Oh, dear..."

He disturbed a little pirate fight.

* * *

Naked both boys stood in the water-filled tub. Josh held the bath brush like a sword and the lid of Barbara's laundry bin like a shield protecting himself from the water Ian splashed at him with the shower hose. Of course they already had flooded half of the bathroom.

"Seamen?!" Tommy earnestly said and immediately Ian turned off the water. Both boys looked at him guilty but not without a touch of satisfaction. Tommy probably should not have grinned at the sight of them. He sighed. "Boys, I fear that Admiral Babba will deny us our food ration if we don't bring order into the deck first."

He threw a few towels into the pool at his feet before he approached the tub and helped the twins dry up themselves.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**

* * *

 **A/N:** This shower scene is dedicated to a few certain readers who had asked for one ;-)


	6. Pizza and Stories

**.**

 **Pizza and stories**

 **.**

* * *

When the men returned into the living room their plates with the pizza already waited. Barbara was just bringing some apple juice and two cans of beer.

"Oh, please, get those caps off." She said with an exhausted sigh placing the drinks next to the plates. Reluctantly Josh and Ian put away the caps Tommy had bought them. Now she glared at him with eyes saying that _he_ was to blame for that. His eyes were sparkling. He definitely was enjoying that.

Already wrapped in their pyjamas the twins jumped onto the sofa almost immediately reaching for pieces of their dinner.

"Wouldn't we wait until _everybody_ sits?" Barbara asked and pulled a chair to the table. Josh and Ian groaned in annoyance. Sometimes adults could be so complicated.

"I'll sit there, Barbara. You'll sit in your comfortable armchair." She was too tired to argue with Tommy and sat down on the soft seat.

There was a munching silence during dinner. Obviously the boys were tired too. They were so tired they did not eat their whole piece of pizza and even forgot the dessert that they had obtained earlier. Yawning but well-bred (or probably just too lazy to get up) they waited until the adults had finished eating. In fact they also did not want to go to bed but they almost fell asleep on the couch while Tommy and Barbara still talked about the beautiful weather today and that such a day at the zoo really hits in the pocket. She never would say it aloud but Barbara was glad that she had the chance to share the costs.

The twins did not say anything but almost dozed off.

"Well, boys... I think it's bedtime." Barbara ended the yawning drama on the sofa. It only started the real drama.

* * *

"Noooo!" Josh nagged.

"Can't we watch some telly first?" Ian begged.

"I'd like to draw a bit." Josh pulled the colouring book from the little side table. Barbara shook her head. Her boss was trying hard to stifle a grin and had to look the other way. She very well recognised it.

"I want to play with the cars." Ian jumped towards the box with a few of their toys.

"Not at all." Barbara shook her head again. "Go and brush your teeth."

"Couldn't we-?"

"No."

"But-"

"Off you go, Ian. Josh, please put the book back." With a smirk towards Tommy she added that if they were good boys Tommy might read them a good night story.

* * *

Like the bath the tooth brushing went by quickly and was not too intense due to Barbara's own tiredness. Right now she only wanted the kids in bed. There were enough things she still had to do before she could curl up under her own blanket. While she observed them and brushing her own teeth she heard that Tommy brought the plates into the kitchen. At least one thing already was done. Maybe there would be some nice moments alone with him before he left.

Maybe she would at least get a farewell kiss.

The twins hopped into Barbara's bed and she tucked them in. Then Tommy came over too and sat down on the edge of the bed. Eager to hear a story Josh handed him the big old book of fairy-tales opening it where they had put the bookmark the other day.

For a while Barbara listened to Tommy's wonderful voice reading with different accents for different protagonists but then she had to leave the room. She longed to sit down next to him and lean into his side getting lulled away like the twins but she could not just leave the plates in the sink and do the washing-up the next day or later like she would have when she would have been alone.

* * *

After a few minutes Tommy joined her in the kitchen at the sink, wordlessly took a towel and helped her.

"They fell asleep in a minute." he chuckled. "Completely exhausted."

Yawning Barbara nodded and handed him a plate. "Me too."

"Shall I read you something?"

Oh, yes, please! A shiver ran across Barbara's slightly flushing skin. It did not go by unnoticed but she dared not to answer. She did not trust her voice. Instead she simply yawned again and shook her head. _Better not..._ she thought. "Nah..."

"Where are _you_ sleeping by the way?" he asked.

"That sofa in the living room - it's a sofa bed. As comfortable as the one in my bedroom." _And big enough for two._ Barbara concentrated on an invisible spot on a plate. Tommy would leave soon and as much as she wanted him to stay she knew he would leave. Although she thought that at least he could kiss her once but since he had not kissed her throughout the day where there had been enough opportunities he probably would not kiss her now. Barbara inwardly berated herself for being a stupid fool.

Tommy always avoided her fingers when she handed him the plates. He longed to touch her. He just wanted to snuggle his nose into her hair that was so close to him and smelled of coconut and Barbara. He admitted to himself that he better would be leaving soon because actually he dearly wanted to kiss her for the rest of the night. _Would she want that too? Probably it was too late now._ He had let his chances go by unused and Barbara had not taken any of the advantages that had been offered. But then again, Barbara would never make any first move, would she?

Tommy vowed to himself that he would make use of the first moment that was offered to finally give her a kiss.

* * *

Eventually they had finished cleaning the dishes in silence and after stowing them away they returned into the living room.

"And Paula? Will she stay there with the boys?" _And nobody will disturb the rest of our evening?_

"Oh, gosh, of course not." Barbara plunked down onto her sofa. "I'm rolling her bed out of there before I go to sleep. It'd be enough if _she_ wakes up in the middle of the night, I really don't need the boys to keep me busy too."

Keeping only a few inches of space between them Tommy sat down too and took a sip from his beer.

"They're a double tornado of its kind." she sighed. "I should've known before I agreed on the zoo trip. Somehow I'm glad Emily will pick them up tomorrow."

"You do a great job with them." He smiled, stretched and placed his arms on the backrest but Barbara was too tired to recognise his clever move. "I can imagine you being a wonderful mother."

That had hurt her. "Don't say that, Sir." Barbara choked. He ought to know that she was a hopeless case. "That probably never will happen."

"You shouldn't think that way." he said with a soft tone. "And please stop calling me Sir." They fell silent. Even the dog already was sleeping on his rug, exhausted after such an overwhelming day in his young life. His legs twitched in a dream.

* * *

Tommy told himself that it really was time for him to go now even if he had not yet kissed her. He only stalled his leave. The kids were asleep, Barbara was tired - there really was no reason why he should stay. Except for the companionable peace here and now, the wonderful company of the woman he loved. Eventually Barbara's eyes fell shut and she was too tired to keep them open. She let her head fall backwards onto his arm and yawned. Tommy's hand squeezed her nape with a soft massage. She did not want the evening to end and neither did he. Unnoticed by her he moved another bit closer.

"I want all this too." Tommy suddenly said with a low voice near Barbara's ear.

"Mmmh? What?" Barbara did not move although his proximity made her flesh crawl.

"I want to change nappies-"

" _You_ haven't!" she mumbled without opening her eyes.

"I would. And I want to tend to scratched skin. I want to shoo my children into bed. I want to sit on the sofa too tired even to watch some telly." Tommy took a deep breath. "I want all that with you, Barbara."

This made her quickly lift her head and quizzically look at him. Had she already fallen asleep and was dreaming now? Would she finally get a kiss from Tommy? Or was he just mocking her?

"What?!" She shook her head in disbelief.

"I want to raise half a dozen of children. Well, at least two, maybe three. And I want _you_ to be their mum. Their _real_ mum." Tommy took another deep breath and turned a bit more towards Barbara. His voice was firm but gentle when he continued to speak. "Will you marry me, Barbara?"

* * *

Oh, crap! He should not have said that. Tommy was shocked about his own brazen question but it was too late now to begin the other way around.

"Sir, are you mad?" Her voice pitched. Suddenly she was wide awake. Had she really heard what he just had said? He must have gone mad simply asking her to marry without the usual process of dating and wooing and without even having kissed before they would make such a life-changing decision but the sincereness with which Tommy looked at her and his tender expression did not look mad at all. Instead he was smiling fondly so Barbara thought he probably only was playfully teasing her. But for her it was not funny at all. "I think you should leave now, Sir. Either you're mocking me and think this is funny, which it isn't at all, or you are too tired to see that you are talking nonsense. You couldn't just ask... Tsk... We couldn't marry, Sir."

"Why not?" He still smiled and made no move to get up and leave. The fingers in her nape now were tenderly buried in her hair. He had been a bit shocked by his words but the idea of marrying Barbara actually was not the worst he had. A bit sudden but alluring.

"We even haven't yet kiss-"

They had been sitting close and Tommy had shifted a bit closer after he had asked her that important question and now he had been so close to her that he only needed to bend down an inch or two, still her head and silence her with a soft kiss. It lingered just for a warm moment that made her head dizzy before he retreated. He read it as a good sign that she did not pull back and that she did not leash out at him and he was still close enough for Barbara to feel his warm breath in her face when he went on talking.

The soft and sincere smile never had left his face. Tommy was sure about it now.

"Done. What do you say now?"

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	7. Monsters and Milk

**A/N:** Sorry for the cliffhanger :-D It's always a pleasure...

* * *

 **.**

 **Monsters and Milk**

 **.**

* * *

Barbara sat there as stiff as a statue and searched for any wind-up in Tommy's face but there was none. Objections, reason and anxiety raged inside her head and belly against romance and joy, against an overwhelming anger that he was toying with her emotions. She felt his hands softly stroking her cheek and saw his constant smile.

Well, at least finally he had kissed her.

And he looked as if he was going to repeat it. Unable to move Barbara let him give her another, slightly longer kiss. Involuntarily she followed Tommy's face with hers when he ended it to keep their lips connected as long as possible. It was what she had longed for all day. It felt good. It felt earth-moving good. Too good in fact to be true. She shook her head in disbelief and inhaled to voice her concerns. A gentle finger on her lips made her hesitate.

"Before you say anything else, Barbara, please let me give you to understand that I have thought about us for a very, _very_ long while now." Slowly and quietly he told her how he felt for her, how he had discovered his feelings, when he had discovered that his feelings for her were deeper than he ever had felt for any other person in his life. He told her that he truly hoped, yes, that he in fact _believed_ she was feeling the same way. He talked about how happy and excited he always had been when they had arranged some date. "And it only was a very short step from allowing myself to call those dates by name to the moment I realised I am deeply in love with you. I love you Barbara."

During his little speech of love one or the other tear trickled down her cheeks and her face finally looked everything but dismissive. She started to believe him.

"Please don't cry." Tommy said with tears in his own eyes. He wiped his thumb across her wet cheek before he leaned down again and gave her a third kiss that suddenly got out of hand somehow when Barbara gave in and answered it with all the pent-up passion from ten years or more.

* * *

Albeit with a tad more relish it had started as gentle and loving like the first two kisses but when Barbara's hand eventually dug into the back of his head to keep him on her lips and when she opened her mouth to his soft nibbling they soon were kissing passionately deep.

Her arms were around his neck, one hand in his hair and one hand on his shoulder, and Barbara pulled him towards her. With Tommy's hand firmly gripping onto her hip an involuntary moan came from her lungs and pulled her out of the moment.

"Tommy..." she whispered and stroked the hair of his beard watching his lips. They looked so kissed and so alluring. She took a deep breath and went on talking. "Tommy, I think there's no-"

He interrupted her with another gentle kiss. Barbara had laid there defeatedly pushed into the cushions, an entirely gently contented expression in her face, an almost smug smile on her lips. If after all she still had objections, Tommy thought, he simply would kiss them away. Even if it took the entire night.

But as if on clue a tiny voice pulled them out of the depth of the scatter cushions and crumpled rugs where they had indulged in the tenderly heated encounter.

"Babba, I think there's a monster under the bed." Ian stood at the door and looked at them with big frightened eyes. The adults dashed apart. They totally had forgotten that they were not alone in her flat. Tommy raked his hand through his hair. It had been quite ruffled by Barbara.

"I'll have a look, Ian." Barbara gently said getting up from her sofa. Only in the last possible moment Tommy let go of her hand not without another soft squeeze. She smiled. "I'm sure there's nothing. Come here, little man, you only had a bad dream."

* * *

Convincing Ian that there were no monsters Barbara brought the boy back into the big bed and even laid down next to him so he could hold her hand for a while. Tommy heard her quietly speaking and then humming some melody.

He got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen.

Since at the moment she was having little children in her flat and had to keep it somewhere secret it took Tommy a while before he found the bottle of single malt whisky but then he poured them both a glass. He would not leave before they had talked about what would follow, now that they had crossed the invisible line between them. Either it would become a very long or a very short night he would not mind. Maybe he would not get any sleep at all tonight.

"Oh, no, not that, Tommy!" Shaking his head he remembered the kids and splashed some cool water from the tap into his face.

Returning to the sofa he saw that she had not yet come back. In her bedroom Tommy realised that Barbara had fallen asleep next to the boys. He would let her rest for a while. In the meantime he would push the baby bed into the living room and prepare her sofa for the night. For a brief second he considered again staying for the night but to begin with, they both were tired and secondly, he would not want to rush things, would he? His proposal was enough haste for today. Although he really would love to hold her. They could just as well talk in bed, couldn't they? With a smile he shook that image out of his head. It definitely was too alluring and he did not trust himself to behave decently. He would not ask to stay.

* * *

With Barbara's bed finally prepared he glanced into the baby bed. Paula looked at him with wide eyes. Probably to the lights in the living room and the rustling he had made she had woken up and now slowly started to decide if she should cry or if the man would understand without her voicing it that she could do with a drink.

He understood and picked her up to carry her into the kitchen. Earlier Barbara already had prepared some small milk bottles so Tommy now only needed to fill one with warm water, shake it and test the heat. All the while Paula was sitting in his arms and he not only wondered where on earth all this routine had come from and why he obviously knew how to prepare a baby bottle, but he also talked with her and kept her busy so she would not start crying and wake Barbara up.

"Do you think I've shied her away with my inappropriate question, Paula?"

The baby, now contentedly sucking on the teat, just watched him with big eyes. Another female voice answered him.

"No, you haven't. Not really."

Tommy looked up.

Barbara stood there in the doorway and she obviously had watched him for a short while. She had heard him soothingly talking to Paula about the great day and that he had loved to have this little insight to how it could be having a real family with Barbara. He had mumbled to the girl that he felt like an idiot and was shocked about his previous question before their first kiss which admittedly had been wonderful, gorgeous, marvellous. He had hummed the melody of the lullaby she had sung to Ian earlier so Barbara knew he had listened to her or even had watched her then like she had watched him now.

Holding the bottle Tommy had stroked the baby girl's cheek with one finger and rocked her while he had stood leaned against the kitchen sink with his eyes fixed on the cutie in his arms. Barbara had wondered how Tommy still could hold the quite big girl who already was walking her first few steps alone. He had not sit down somewhere so Paula could sit on his lap but he obviously did not care. He had rather strong arms, she had thought. Strong arms that could hold her too. She would love that.

Slightly blushing Barbara even had heard Tommy asking Paula of her opinion to his internal debate if he should ask Barbara for permission to stay for breakfast. As far as she was concerned he also could stay for lunch and dinner and breakfast the day after tomorrow.

* * *

Finally Paula had finished and Tommy rocked her in his arms. That was when he had asked her the question Barbara had answered instead of the baby girl.

His head went up and he smiled. "How long have you been standing there?"

Barbara just shrugged and approached him. "Just a while. Thank you for taking care of Paula."

"It was pure pleasure."

"And thank you for making my bed."

Tommy did not answer to that. They just shared a deep look. There was still some hesitation, some sort of anxiety in Barbara's eyes but she could see that he had meant his initial question to her seriously. And there definitely was the unspoken question if she would want him to stay for the night.

"Do you want to put Paula to bed?" he asked instead.

Since she nodded Tommy handed her the baby and their faces came so close that he now acted like he had wanted earlier in a similar situation. Now he simply closed the distance to Barbara's lips. Closing her eyes she responded immediately and with Paula in her arms and his arms around both they shared another long and tender kiss.

Abruptly Barbara turned away. Another second longer and she probably would have placed the girl onto the worktop and snog the hell out of Tommy - no matter how tired she was. A nervous laugh accompanied her words towards Paula while they left the kitchen. "I'll put you to bed now, hm? We would not want to ruin your good behaviour just because we've none, would we?"

"Ah, well..." Tommy muttered following her, raking his fingers through the hair that Barbara had left slightly ruffled again. He still could feel the warmth of her lips lingering on his. "Of course not."

* * *

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 **...**


	8. Seriously

**A/N:** Angel, thanks for your review. You may expect that I change the rating into M but I won't. Although I changed it into T - just to be sure.

* * *

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 **Seriously**

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* * *

While Barbara put Paula back into her bed Tommy stood behind her and gave her shoulders a soft massage. She had tucked the girl in as slowly as possible so she could enjoy his hands for a little bit longer just standing there. Then she felt his hands squeezing her upper arms followed by a soft touch of his lips in her nape. Barbara leaned back into his chest and his lips wandered to her earlobe. His hands slid around her waist from behind. She closed her eyes. It was heaven to feel him so close, to hear him breathe, to smell his scent.

"Will we talk now?" he whispered. "You may think, and actually you're right, that I would love to just kiss and caress you but apart from all those little ones in your flat tonight I think there are a few... well, objections to overcome. I have the feeling that you also don't want to talk at all but it looks as if those hesitancies come from you."

That was true. Barbara certainly was a bit afraid of what might follow. She only wanted to turn and go on kissing instead of having a conversation that she knew would show them that despite all their current emotions and sizzling passion a long-term relationship between them won't work at all but Tommy held her close and with kisses in between he went on whispering in her ear and hair.

"You know, you're a beautiful woman and I have to admit that I'm physically attracted to you, Barbara."

"Oh, I can feel that." she mumbled.

"But it's not only physical." He kissed a spot behind her ear and made a silent note to himself to remember that it made her stretch her back like a cat and tilt her head presenting that spot to more caresses. "I've realised I love you rather... well, entirely. Body, mind and soul." Tommy made a pause before he went on. "I know you would say that we shouldn't and we couldn't and that you won't fit into my," He gave a short laugh. " _noble_ family but that isn't true. You'd be a wonderful Countess. Genuine, polite, not so polite when it's necessary... I guess you would be a nice soft and fresh breeze blowing through the fuggy society."

"Bollocks!" Barbara muttered voiceless.

"The truth. And you are the best thing that ever had happened to _me_. You keep me grounded most of the time. You always give me the time I need to wallow or to unreasonably argue or simply keep onto stupid ideas and then you always know the perfect time when you put an end to whatever bad mood I'm in. Even if you've slammed a few doors before that. You could be grumpy, you could be defensive, I know that. I already know you for some years, Barbara. I know that you use your spiky defensiveness only to protect yourself from deeper harm. You don't need it, Barb. Not anymore. Not with me. I could never hurt you because I love you."

Tommy felt a silent sob shaking Barbara's body so he gave her another kiss on the skin that just showed off from the collar of her shirt.

"At first I couldn't believe it either but when some long time ago, for the sake of my mother, I tried to date women of, like you would say it, my own lot, I realised I was only looking for things I already had with you. _You_ are what I need. Needed then and still need now. You are everything to me, Barbara, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with you."

* * *

After another pause he added "Although I have to admit that the introductory question earlier was a bit out of the blue, wasn't it?"

Barbara shyly chuckled again. "Yah, sort of."

"I'm really sorry. That was stupid. Of course you don't have to answer now. Although _I_ am really sure about us I understand that we should at least see how well we both will go on from here. I know it will go on _very_ well. And I promise I'm going to ask again one day. Properly. But then I expect an answer. So you should start judging us now so you can make your choice then."

Leaning back into his deeply breathing chest with a broad smile Barbara thought that she already had made it. Sort of.

For a brief moment they just stood there. Tommy softly rocked her with closed eyes.

"Today was such a wonderful experience. Not only with the kids but with you too. Every time you called me by my name I had wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you how happy it makes me. Shout at the world that I love you. There had been so many moments I just had wanted to kiss you but I was a coward. And every time I had put my arms around your shoulders I had hoped that everyone there would think we were together, would think we were a family. I was proud to be the man next to you and I really _want_ to be the man at your side. I don't care about what my family would say because it seems to me that my mother and Judith already think we _are_ an item. I don't care about what the Met wants to say about us because if they really dare splitting up their best team at work then, or so I hope, we still would be a team at home and I really believe we could be the greatest team since Bonnie and Clyde. Well, inverted. Somehow."

* * *

Although Barbara was shaken by a few silent sobs again she had to chuckle too when his little speech was stumbling. "Tommy..." she whispered.

"I've not yet finished, Barbara, there still are things I have to tell you to convince you that I love you and that I think you love me too and that we really-"

"Stop!" Barbara said between a sob and a laugh. "Will you please shut up, Tommy?!"

He finally let her turn in his arms. Tommy had expected her to kiss him to put a merciful end to his stammer but she only cuddled closer and put her forehead onto his chest.

"I _do_ love you." she quietly said sighing. "I _really_ do..."

"But?"

"That's it." Barbara sighed and pushed her face into his shirt. "There is no but." she mumbled muffled by cloth.

His arms pulled her tightly against him.

* * *

"There's no 'but' that I could consider as worth saying. I know your family wouldn't be able to talk me out of your stubborn head - or you out of mine, that is - and I _know_ they actually wouldn't want that at all. Lately I've talked with your sister, you know, when I had to answer your phone while you were in that meeting with- you remember? And she prattled away her thoughts about us. She had been quite shocked when I told her that we weren't a couple and she called it a shame and you a stupid coward. That had made me think about us and I've come to the end that I'm a bloody coward too. I'm afraid of... I don't know. Just anxious. It's all so different. _You_ are so different. Well, seriously - you and me are from entirely different ends of the universe. I do _not_ have to go into details, have I? But whichever way I looked at it, I couldn't find serious objections why we shouldn't at least _try_ it. I mean, we-"

Tired of talking, tired of listening, knowing they in fact did not need to have this conversation and finally overwhelmed by emotions that obviously were the same Barbara felt for him Tommy had pushed her away from his chest and had lifted her chin with his finger so he could mute her with a row of kisses that left them both a bit breathless in the end.

"And as to another one of the questions you've asked Paula - I really do want to share breakfast with you," Barbara breathed onto his lips between kisses. "so I would have some help in the kitchen preparing the food bowls for the four monsters in my flat."

Tommy inwardly and openly rejoiced at her confession.

* * *

After another long kiss and a dozen whispered vows of love and although she felt not only her desire for him but also his for her Barbara finally could not suppress a heartfelt yawn.

"Tommy, we really should get some sleep now." she whispered a bit shy. "You can use the bathroom. A new toothbrush is in the cabinet. Door top left. I'll fetch you some pyjama bottoms."

"Do I want to know why you have such things?" he mockingly insinuated something juicy.

"They're clean." she sternly informed him.

"I always knew you have a secret life, Barbara." Tommy winked.

"Oh, shut u-" He kissed her again.

When she came back from her bedroom his clothes laid neatly folded on the armchair. When _he_ came back from the bathroom, clad only in his briefs, _she_ already had changed into her own pyjamas. Blushing Barbara scurried past him.

"They're from my father." she mumbled nudging the pyjama bottoms into his naked chest. "I've kept them for snuggling with the rug, lazy evenings on my sofa."

As if it was by accident, and both knew it was not, she let her fingertips glide across his skin.

* * *

Tommy still stood at the baby bed when Barbara came out of the bathroom. He looked at Paula with deep affection and then he looked at Barbara with an expression like he wanted to make such a cutie with her right now.

"No." Barbara answered to his unspoken question with another blush she felt creeping across her entire body. "I'm horribly tired and actually need some sleep now."

Tommy laughed. "Was it so obvious?"

"It is." Quickly Barbara climbed into bed and shyly invited him under the covers. Tommy slid next to her and extinguished the standard lamp next to the sofa. "Besides there are two boys in the other room who had a few gallons of lemonade today and I'm pretty sure they will have to use the bathroom tonight. There's only one in this flat, they have to come past here and I won't let them surprise us... at... something..."

Short kisses had cut her sentence.

"Something?" he chuckled. Cautiously her arm went around his waist.

"You know what I mean."

In the kiss he gave her his smile was noticeable.

* * *

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 **...**


	9. Royal Indifference

**A/N:**

* * *

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 **Royal Indifference**

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* * *

It still was quite dark when Barbara woke up. An unfamiliar breathing could be heard next to her ear and the warmth that radiated from the body next to hers was foreign to her but both was not at all unappreciated. Under her duvet close to her body there was the man she loved. Without opening her eyes she snuggled another bit closer into the alluringly naked chest. She vaguely remembered how she had peeled it free after Tommy had returned from singing Paula back into sleep somewhere in the middle of the night.

Barbara smiled. Tommy had been so sweet offering to get up instead of Barbara. And _he_ had been the one who let decency rule when _she_ only wanted to reward him after he had come back to bed. She only had been inappropriately wanton in that state of half-sleepy rapture.

The smell that surrounded her now was well-known but still new in intensity and with the underlying personal scent of Tommy. Since the hold of his arm around her waist tightened she knew he was awake too so she greeted him good morning but kept her eyes closed.

"Morning, sleepy head." He kissed her. "It's shortly before seven. How long do we have until the twins ravage through your flat?"

"Don't know." Barbara yawned and stretched against his body like a cat so Tommy was able to kiss her throat. She loved that. He loved her stretching against him. An early interest in something more intimate buzzed inside her belly. "Maybe half an hour? Even one? Maybe only fifteen minutes? Oh, good gracious!"

Softly but firmly he had pulled her pelvis against the bulge in his pants.

"I'm so happy, Barbara." he desperately whispered.

"I feel it." A short trembling laugh told of her nervousness.

"I never want to wake up without you again." Their desire broke free in a deep and sensual kiss.

* * *

"...m-hm! Yep, she's here." A young male voice cheekily laughed. "Right now they're making baby turtles."

 _"What?!"_

Barbara pushed Tommy away so he quickly rolled off from her body. Like Josh who held her mobile against his ear she had heard the woman on the other end screaming.

"Josh! Is that your mother?" she asked shocked. Josh nodded and held out her phone to Barbara. "Em! What a nice-"

For a while Barbara tried to explain to her friend that they _of course_ had not made love with the kids sleeping in the other room but Emily always interrupted her with another allegation.

In the meantime Josh had entered the bed sofa and playfully wrestled with Tommy. They were making such a noise that not only Ian came running and jumped onto Tommy too but also Battenberg began to bark so finally Paula woke up and started to cry.

Ah, well, the bliss of family life.

With the twins clamping on each leg Tommy got up and rocked the baby calm again.

* * *

"We haven't... no... It's Tommy... Lynley. My boss. ...no, I'm _not_ sleeping my way up the ladder... I told you it's not... Emily, we're still in our pyjamas! Yes... of course... _sure_! We only kissed... No, we don't... _No!_ ... Now, will you shut up please? We're still decently dressed!" Emily did not need to know how far this kiss really had gone.

"He's only in pyjama pants!" Ian shouted from behind. Barbara groaned.

"What do _you_ think? ... No, he isn't! He has taken Paula from her bed and soothed her after your terrible sons have woken her up!" She threw a pillow after Josh who was about to jump onto the sofa again. "You have two seconds to get off that table, Ian! No, Emily, everything is under control here."

She was grinning now and patiently answered her friend's questions about "him".

"Yes, for aeons... For quite a while, it seems... Yesterday... We've been to the zoo... Emily! _Of course not!_ " When Barbara entered her kitchen to see what Tommy was doing she actually giggled at her friend's words. "At the moment he's making the milk bottle for Paula... M-hm. He's a treasure. ... No, I won't, Em!" Loudly laughing she held out the phone to Tommy. "Tommy, say hi to Emily."

"Hi to Emily!" Tommy gave Barbara a loud peck on the cheek.

* * *

After Emily had told Barbara how well her job interview had been and when she would come and pick the kids up, and after Ian and Josh were shooed to the bathroom, eventually the flat turned calm again. Still in their sleep-wear they ate breakfast and after changing clothes they were tidying up.

The bed was changed, the sofa bed was stripped down and only a sofa again. Most of the toys were put into the boys' bags, Paula's mobile bed was dismantled and after they had eaten sandwiches for lunch they all peacefully sat in front of the TV. Leaned into Tommy's side and with Paula in her lap Barbara was reading a picture book with the girl and all three men were enjoying a three part documentary about antique racing cars until finally Emily knocked at Barbara's door in the early afternoon.

* * *

It was a loud welcome but Emily only gave a quick briefing about the interview. She was quite tired now and only wanted to get home.

"I think I did it." she said. "So probably we'll move to Scotland soon."

Josh and Ian pulled Barbara and Tommy into a big hug saying good-bye but then they sped out of the door. Reluctantly Tommy gave Paula back to her mother. He would miss the cute girl but he would have his own daughter soon, he inwardly vowed.

Finally the borrowed family was gone and the flat had turned silent. Hand in hand Barbara and Tommy slowly walked from the door towards the sofa. Both only wanted to walk past it but neither did. At the coffee table they stopped.

* * *

"What now?" he asked. He knew what _he_ wanted now.

"Don't know. Watch some telly?" Barbara knew what _she_ wanted and it was not watching the next part of the documentary.

Tommy encircled her waist and gently smiled. "I have a different but tremendously brilliant idea. Do you remember this morning before we were disturbed?"

Barbara only blushed and diverted her eyes. Of course she remembered.

"We could continue-" With that unfinished sentence echoing through the room his lips found better things to do than telling her what they could continue. They shared a deep kiss. His hands went to her bottom cheeks and pulled her closer to him.

* * *

Two times there was a knock at the door before the sound went through the haze in her ears into the dizziness of her brain and Barbara finally reacted. With wordy excuses Emily had returned because they had forgotten to put the children's seats off his and back into her car. It was done quickly but not without Emily constantly smirking. One look at them and she had known by Tommy's ruffled hair, Barbara's kiss-swollen lips and their flushed faces that she had disturbed them at something definitely not suitable for children.

Arm in arm Tommy and Barbara waved goodbye behind the leaving car before it turned at the corner and they went back to her flat. This time they made it barely inside. Barbara locked the door and turned and immediately was pressed against the wood by a passionate impact of his body.

"Oh, good g-" The kiss he gave her was equally passionate. Tommy pinned her at the door leaf and wasted no more time. There had been enough interruptions. Pushing his groin into her pelvis he started to pull her shirt out of her jeans.

* * *

Suddenly the sounds of a police car horn came from her jeans pocket. Her mobile rang. Insistently so after she first had ignored it. Tommy groaned.

"Stop that noise!" he breathed onto her lips. She answered the call after checking the caller ID. Tommy had hoped she would just dismiss it.

"Winston! Make it brief!" Her head bumped back at the door when she felt Tommy's lips at her throat and his hands finally under the shirt and on her naked skin.

 _"Barb! Hi. There's a body and we-"_

"Winnie, I don't care. I'm not on call, and if it's not the Queen herself, then don't get on my nerves now!" She disconnected and pushed the turned off phone back into her pocket.

* * *

Within a moment they picked up where they had stopped. Tongues were fighting, hands were raking, body was pressing into body. Their shirts were carelessly discarded onto the floor.

The hollow sound of a mobile-ring-tone of _Little Eyes_ and the vibrating alert of Tommy's phone buzzed against Barbara's hip. She groaned. Will they ever have a moment for themselves? She almost doubted that and snuggled her nose into his beard when Tommy answered his phone.

"Cut him off!" she breathed.

"Has something happened to the Queen?" His fingertips ran down Barbara's spine and up again finally one-handed fidgeting with the clasp of her bra.

 _"Umm... what? Well, no, err... We've just found a male body and-"_

"Nkata, I'm not on call today and very, very busy at the moment, so _please_ annoy another DI." With that he disconnected the call and threw his mobile onto the sofa.

* * *

Barbara chuckled while Tommy pushed one strap of her bra down her shoulder with his lips. "Poor Winnie." she muttered.

"He'll cope. And figure it out soon, I guess." Tommy whispered. The other strap went down. Her fingertips tickled the naked muscles of his upper arms.

"Of course. He's a good detective." She wriggled with her arms. Their foreheads bumped and they locked their eyes. A still slightly unconfident and nervous grin met a reassuring smile.

"Where were we?" he breathed. Her bra fell to the floor and both enjoyed the sensation of the first contact of their chests' skin. She deeply blushed.

"Shall we continue somewhere more private?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

After a deep breath Tommy scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. It was the final proof for Barbara that he really was able not only to hold her with his strong arms but to carry her too.

* * *

About twenty minutes later they faintly heard his mobile ringing again in the living room.

"Your phone...!" she breathed tilting her head back into the pillow.

"Even if the monarchy collapsed, I wouldn't mind _now_." he mumbled with his lips on her sweaty throat.

* * *

Somewhere in the dirt of a dark back alley a Detective Superintendent was loudly swearing at her mobile phone cursing the naughtily smirking DC who was checking details with the SOCO.

* * *

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 **A/N:** Thank you for reading this story and thanks for all your reviews. It was fun to write and then to read what you think about it. Cheers!

 **Tess**


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